How to talk to children about big issues

We encourage open dialogue with children and can provide guidance on talking on a range of topics from inequality, and natural disasters to racism.

Children are keen observers. Parents can often be surprised at what children have overheard us discuss, in the media or from peers or other adults. By including children in conversations about big issues, we are recognising their capacity to understand complex concepts, their right to participate in their community and to have a voice. Talking about big issues can also be good for your child’s problem-solving and communication skills.

What is a ‘big issue’?

Issues might be big because they involve ethics or morals, or because they have the potential to disrupt a child’s normal view of the world. Other big issues might include life-changing events, or something significant that’s got the community, the country or the world talking. Something that’s a big issue for you won’t necessarily be a big issue for everyone.

Some big ideas you’ll want to speak to your child about might include:

Environmental issues like global warming, water and air pollution.
Racism, sexism or any type of exclusion or discrimination.
Current affairs like natural disasters or critical incidents.
Divorce or a death in the family.
Local or election issues, or the impending referendum on the Voice to Parliament.

Talking to your child about big issues

Here are some tips for speaking to children of different ages. Every child is different, and you should be guided by your child’s developmental stage, not only their age.

Infants

Babies don’t need to know about your worries, and don’t have the cognitive or language skills to understand the difference between what’s fair and unfair. What’s essential for babies is that they are and feel safe in their relationships with you. If you’re faced with a complex issue that will impact your baby, you can help protect them by focusing on making sure they feel loved and safe, and by continuing to meet their basic needs.

Toddlers and Preschoolers

In general, toddlers and preschoolers don’t yet have a concrete understanding of reality versus fantasy and are still developing their concept of cause and effect. That’s why talking in simple, factual terms is the best strategy.

Plan for your conversation – it can be helpful to prepare yourself before taking on a difficult topic of conversation with your child. How will you describe the situation? When and where will you do it? Some discussions go well when they start naturally, but avoid taking on the topic in a hurry, or at a time your child often has big feelings. Introducing the subject while you’re doing an activity you enjoy together can make some subjects less daunting.
Keep it simple – a basic overview of the situation is usually enough, and there’s no need for detail. You can introduce new vocabulary by giving simple and clear definitions.
Be honest but avoid scary details – children should hear the truth, but in a child-friendly way. This means avoid talking about details that could scare or cause worry. It’s ok to let a child know there are some things that they don’t need to know yet, that there are adults taking care of those things, and that you will keep them (your child) safe.
Find out what they know – working out what your child already knows or has heard about the subject can give you a good place to start and allow you to address any misunderstandings.
Acknowledge feelings – let your child know how you feel. This helps to normalise both the issue, and everyone’s feelings. It’s good for children to see you express and manage a range of emotions, but if you can’t speak about a particular topic without getting very upset, it may be best to leave the conversation to someone else, or to a later time.
Be reassuring – children need to know that they are safe, and that the adults in their life are looking out for them. Who in your family, in the community or in government is taking responsibility for the issue? What things do you know of that are going well?
Encourage curiosity and taking action – this can switch a child from feeling helpless in the face of a challenge to feeling helpful and hopeful. Ask your child what they’d like to know and what they could do to help. Giving children some decision-making power can help them navigate a big issue that impacts their life directly.
Use books and toys – some big ideas are can be addressed really well through children’s books and toys. Having some at home that represent diverse cultures and religions, social or environmental issues, and things like death, moving house or divorce can pave the way for thoughtful conversations that keep your child informed and prepared for what’s next.

It’s important to talk to children about big issues. How and what you talk about will change depending on the topic and your child, but having open and honest discussions about the realities of life can help them to develop a range of social, emotional and thinking skills.

If you find it difficult talking about a topic that you know is important, speak to a friend, family member or GP for support.